Do More

My father-in-law recently had a heart procedure. He had not been feeling well, thought it was an asthma attack, but it ended up being 90% blockage in the left side of his heart. A couple of stints later he is home. He feels good, but realizes he has to change his lifestyle and his diet. He feels like he has to do more.

What? I talked to him on the phone a few days ago and he told me he had just been hanging around the house, looking at the birds and that the day was a waste because he didn't get anything done. He needs to do more. I told him that it was okay to just take a day to hang out. Our lives shouldn't be measured by the things we do . . . right? We should be able to hang out and enjoy the autumn days, right? Nope, he said - he didn't get anything done and that makes him feel restless, and lazy and well . . . a bit worthless. Because he didn't do more.

That conversation started a thought process in my brain. Why, when our lives are so busy and crowded and filled with noise and business, can't we just sit back and enjoy life?

My hubby and I had an argument earlier today - I was in the wrong. Later, when I was helping him build fence he asked me what I liked about myself today. I listed all the things I had done, and told him I needed to do more. He just looked at me and said" No, that isn't what I asked. What do you like about yourself today? You don't have to do more."

I always think I have to do more. More laundry, more canning, more weeding, more mothering, more being a friend . . . the list goes on and on. Why? So I can list on Facebook all of the things I have accomplished? So, when I am visiting with friends I can one-up them that I do more? Oh, soooo stupid, this need to do more.

Like my father-in-law, I am caught up in the trap of do more. It becomes difficult to relax and enjoy the moment when I am always looking to do more. At the end of the day I'm not sure anyone cares if I do more - because all my kids care about is if I did enough. And, most days I do.